Finding Your Purpose When You Feel Lost
It doesn't feel good
There are times in life when you might feel lost. Maybe that time is right now. Perhaps there are people in your life pressuring you or wanting you to do or be something that doesn't feel right. The thought of it might make you feel like you're wearing shoes that are a size too small. You can't walk properly and that doesn't feel good. You can't seem to find your purpose.
What if you don't know?
The path you're on doesn't seem right, but you feel lost and don't know which way to turn. Feeling unsure, you don't want to tell anyone because you're embarassed or worried that your family, friends or colleagues might not think you have your act together. After all, aren't you supposed to have the career thing all sorted out by now?
Who wrote that rule book?
There is no one way to find a career or work that fuels you and puts you in a state of flow. Everyone is different. Each of us has unique life experiences that shape the way we think, how we act and even the work we do.
Do you feel stuck?
As a result, you might land in a job that doesn't suit you at all. What is causing you to feel like you can't get out of a situation?
- Financial: Is debt getting in your way? Do you have a good paying job and don't want to risk a change for something that might not pay off?
- Someone relies on you. Do you have a have a spouse, partner or family member who relies to you and your current income?
- Lack of support: Are you getting negative vibes from your loved ones when you talk about wanting to make a change?
- No clear direction: Maybe you don't know what you really want to do. You just know that continuing on this path makes you unhappy and stressed.
- Lack of confidence: Does anxiety and fear surface for you when you think about making a change?
Why change?
It's easy to rationalize and tell yourself that your current situation isn't that bad. Deep down, you know it is. You don't want to continue feeling this way, but you're at an impass. What do you do?
Make time for yourself
The first thing to do is to make yourself a priority. Thinking about your life and what could bring you joy and contentment shouldn't be a 5 minute thought once a month, if ever. You are important and your wants and needs are valid. If there is a gap and you feel discontent, make it a priority to focus on yourself.
Ask yourself some questions
Capture your answers. You can use the old fashioned method with pen and paper or go electronic with EverNote. Questions you may wish to explore are:
- What do your friends ask you to help them with?
- What do they think you might be good at? (disclaimer: only ask people you trust and respect. You want their answers to matter.)
- What is something you'd like to do if you knew you wouldn't fail?
- What can you do that keeps you in a state of flow so that you lose track of time?
- What hobbies or interests did you have as a kid that you'd still like to do if money, time and obligations where no object?
Mark Manson has a list of 7 Strange Questions that help you find your life purpose.
Complete some online assessments
Many assessments are free and can help you start the process of getting a clearer picture. Carve out 20 minutes in your day to complete one. It could be fun and insightful.
Check out these free online assessments:
Are we getting too serious here? If so, try these free tests:
- What is Your Spirit Animal?
- Pottermore Sorting Quizzes (think Hogwarts and Harry Potter)
Not free, but worth the small investment
Okay, full disclosure here. I'm certified in a number of assessments. They are administered online via a link and each one takes between 10-15 minutes to complete. You get a detailed report and if it helps, we can debrief the report together via a Zoom coaching call. There are 3 assessments I'll highlight.
DISC Assessment. DISC is a needs-motivated, observable behavioural profiling system. It can help you align your career with your personality.
MBTI Assessment. It is an online questionnaire that indicates differing psychological preferences and will help you gain a better understanding of how you perceive the world and make decisions.
Emotional Intelligence (EIQ-2). It can tell you a lot about your personality and how to use the results to help you explore finding your purpose. The results help you get a good handle on how you deal with your emotions and how easily you recognize emotions in others.
Contact me to get started. You'll get your assessment link lickety split.
Now, back to helping you find your purpose.
These suggestions, questions, and assessments are just a place to start. Don't let yourself feel overwhelmed by any of them either. Listen to your gut. Trust your instincts. You know yourself best. Keep a journal and track your ideas, any feedback, assessment results, and answers to the find your purpose questions.
This is the "you are here" map marker.
You aren't lost. You're just getting started.
"You've always had the power my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself." Glinda of the Wizard of Oz.
Take off the too tight shoes and take a step in a direction that feels right for you.
